A Statement Of Work

Jan 15, 2012

a statement of work
Which thesis statement would work better for proving my point?

I want to blame the fast food industry for the obesity epidemic in America.

This is the first one:

The fast food industry is to blame for the obesity epidemic in America; research shows that the portion sizes offered at fast food restaurants are too large and the food consists of too much energy density, thus creating a direct causation between obesity and fast food.

The second one:

Research shows that the portion sizes offered at fast food restaurants are too large and the food consists of too much energy density, thus creating a direct causation between obesity and fast food. If fast food was not as popular in America, the obesity rates would be lower.

I am leaning towards the second one but feel like it could be stronger.

The second one drives the point home.
I hope that you’re just debating this in a class, and that you really don’t believe this, because the obesity in the country is caused by the bannanaheads shoveling the fast food in their mouths, not McDonald’s.
Nobody has a gun to anyones head and telling them to eat poorly. And it certainly is not the job of the government to control them.

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